Now that my sweet man has read this I figured I would post it.
Happy Valentine’s Day folks!!
To Viktor, my love, on this Valentine s Day….
I am sure you’ve heard talk of the 7 year itch before. Supposedly when two people have been together for 7 years they begin to grow apart, and their eyes start to wonder to “better” things. It may be true for some people, but if you ask me, year 7 was the year we truly fell in love.
Now, before you think “I always loved you! What are you saying?!” Hear me out.
We came together when I was 18 and you were 23 years young. That year before our meeting was easily the worst year of my life. I lost my best friend, I was in an awful relationship with a boy that tore me down to nothing, I was lost, tired and raw when I came running to Asheville. You were at the end of your divorce, you had lost everything. You were drinking too much and playing a part that definitely wasn’t you. I’ve always said that when we got together we proceeded to sew each other up, patching wounds, showing each other love we didn’t know existed in this world.
I loved you from the beginning.
I just knew you were going to change my life.
We were wild and reckless and looking back on it, I am surprised we never self destructed. But I think we were always connected at our cores, in a way that even wild fire can’t destroy. It was always us against the world, and I have never felt safer than by your side.
You were so sweet. I smile thinking of it now. When you sent me sunflowers for Valentine’s Day and we hadn’t even been together two weeks. I didn’t even know men like you existed. I didn’t know how to be loved so I balked at your kindness. You just smiled and held my hand. I sanded down your rough edges and taught you to be kind to everyone not just me. I would like to think I taught you to pick your battles in this world. You taught me about patience and that touch doesn’t always have to hurt.
Then we had our silly Anders and you moved with me to Kentucky, and you did everything you could to make sure we were taking care of. I remember thinking…”he really isn’t leaving, he really is going to stay with me.”
And our love continued to grow and of course we had our tribulations, bad days and good but in retrospect I would say we had the easy kind of love then, shallow roots.
When your mom passed you pulled away from me and it’s taken awhile to bring you back. This past year we were tested in a multitude of ways. But I think that instead of shying away from each other like we had before and waiting until the storm passes and the weather became sunny again, We jumped into that storm and sailed the ship together. We chose each other over and over in love, every, single, day. We cried and we held each other together. We really listened when the other person spoke and we gave gifts and surprises from the heart. We didn’t just live in our love hoping it would be enough to see us through like we had always done before, but we fortified it making sure it would be. We were no longer passive lovers, but fierce warriors for our love.
So I would like to say thank you for helping make year 7 the year we fell deeper in love rather than the year we fell apart. Love seems too small a word, with too loose a meaning, for how I feel. Especially on Valentine’s Day sometimes, it can lose its meaning. There’s To Cherish, to relish, intoxicating, consuming, steady, strong………with all the energy and dedication of the moving ocean tides,consistently kissing the land, sometimes with ferocity, sometimes tenderly, but always….always and forever.
So here is to ocean tides and moon light and year 8…
Love, love, love.